Sorry Not Sorry
I know it has been quite a while since I blogged. I have excuses ready if I need them. But I think since we are friends, you will forgive me for abandoning you. So please forgive me. The thing is I think it was pretty much inevitable. You see I have some things I love to do. I love to have coffee in the morning and read devotions on my phone. I love to wake up and just lay in be and talk to God and think. Boy, do I love to think. I love to watch Hallmark movies because they make me cry and have happy endings. Notice you did not see write a blog on the list. Before moving on, I want to say that I heard somewhere that the cure for exhaustion was not to do less but to do more of what you love.
Back to why I stopped blogging. Sometimes writing is hard but I almost always get a sense of pride and satisfaction from creating something. Sure, I wish I could paint or sing or play an instrument but those abilities have eluded me. But using words to create and inspire and make people laugh seems to be something I can do. My gift, if you will. Which by the way, I am still trying to develop. I've learned gifts don't come prepackaged and ready to go. You have to work at them. Sometimes it's hard. Ok, I am starting to go down a rabbit trail. But that reminds me of a game Kathy and I have played a little bit the last few days. Since both of us can get distracted pretty easily, when we look out into the yard and see a squirrel we say "Squirrel" and just start to laugh. Ok, maybe we are a bit bored.
Yes, writing can be hard but still there was another deeper problem. My attitude. I thought about it like a job, I put a deadline on myself, and worst of all I felt like each time needed to be a home run and I needed to write something that would change someone's life forever. Way too much pressure for a Minnesota farm boy turned mailman turned school bus driver. A phrase has been going through my mind lately, "Stay in your lane." I think maybe I stepped out of my lane for a while. Not to worry, today I got an answer to my quandary.
I woke up about 4 this morning. I'd like to say God woke me up to pray but really I think my bladder woke me up to remind me I am not as young as I used to be and then God said, "As long as you are up, would you like to talk? So I don't want to sound all spiritual but somewhere in there I do think I heard from God. Out of the blue, I found myself saying I've wasted so much time. I think I expected God to say something like, I know, but now that you are aware of it, get to work. But all I heard was "Have You?" Just like that, I was exposed. I thought about the place in the Bible where God says my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts. I wish I could tell you all that was downloaded into my heart right then but I can't. I just know it was a pivot.
I am not going to think like that anymore. I think God doesn't waste anything, so it can't be true. And I am not going to play catch up anymore!
CAN WE BE FRIENDS?
Going forward, I am going to think this of this blog as two friends getting together just to talk and share what's been going on in their lives. I won't be trying to change your life, I will just be sharing mine. If something comes out that helps you, great. But hopefully, when we are finished we will be a little more relaxed and uplifted because we each spent time with a friend. See you next time.
Back to why I stopped blogging. Sometimes writing is hard but I almost always get a sense of pride and satisfaction from creating something. Sure, I wish I could paint or sing or play an instrument but those abilities have eluded me. But using words to create and inspire and make people laugh seems to be something I can do. My gift, if you will. Which by the way, I am still trying to develop. I've learned gifts don't come prepackaged and ready to go. You have to work at them. Sometimes it's hard. Ok, I am starting to go down a rabbit trail. But that reminds me of a game Kathy and I have played a little bit the last few days. Since both of us can get distracted pretty easily, when we look out into the yard and see a squirrel we say "Squirrel" and just start to laugh. Ok, maybe we are a bit bored.
Yes, writing can be hard but still there was another deeper problem. My attitude. I thought about it like a job, I put a deadline on myself, and worst of all I felt like each time needed to be a home run and I needed to write something that would change someone's life forever. Way too much pressure for a Minnesota farm boy turned mailman turned school bus driver. A phrase has been going through my mind lately, "Stay in your lane." I think maybe I stepped out of my lane for a while. Not to worry, today I got an answer to my quandary.
I woke up about 4 this morning. I'd like to say God woke me up to pray but really I think my bladder woke me up to remind me I am not as young as I used to be and then God said, "As long as you are up, would you like to talk? So I don't want to sound all spiritual but somewhere in there I do think I heard from God. Out of the blue, I found myself saying I've wasted so much time. I think I expected God to say something like, I know, but now that you are aware of it, get to work. But all I heard was "Have You?" Just like that, I was exposed. I thought about the place in the Bible where God says my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts. I wish I could tell you all that was downloaded into my heart right then but I can't. I just know it was a pivot.
I am not going to think like that anymore. I think God doesn't waste anything, so it can't be true. And I am not going to play catch up anymore!
CAN WE BE FRIENDS?
Going forward, I am going to think this of this blog as two friends getting together just to talk and share what's been going on in their lives. I won't be trying to change your life, I will just be sharing mine. If something comes out that helps you, great. But hopefully, when we are finished we will be a little more relaxed and uplifted because we each spent time with a friend. See you next time.
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