Enough Already
Not too long ago I was filling in for a driver on a special needs route. It was my last school of the day and there were only three students to take home. The first student came on with an aid from the school. The student was saying something and pointing to a compartment above the driver's seat. I did not know what he was saying and neither did the aid. After a couple of minutes the aid figured out what he was saying. He was asking for candy.
The regular driver had gotten permission from the parents and would give this student a piece of candy as a reward for good behavior. Obviously I did not know this and so was not prepared to follow the routine. The aid reminded the student that he was not supposed to ask for the candy but wait for the driver to give it to him. None of this deterred our student. Finally something else happened that took his focus off the candy. I thought we had gotten past our candy issue but I we had not.
When we arrived at the student's home, I took the student's coat which he had taken off and his backpack and gave them to his mom. He however did not want to get off the bus. There were cars waiting behind me and in front of me so I needed him to get off the bus. In the heat of the moment, I decided to play my candy card. "If you get off the bus, I will give you a piece of candy." I grabbed a piece of candy showed it to the student and gave it to his mom waiting as the bottom of the steps.
This plan worked and the student began to get off the bus. But when our little rider got to the bottom of the steps, he turned around and said one word. "Two." By then it was too late and mom stepped up and got him to get off the bus. I think it was somewhat funny but as I got to thinking about it later, it occurred to me that my little friend was only doing what I and most others are also guilty of. We want more.
If we have a job with a good wage we want a job that pays more. If we have a nice car, we want a newer one. If we have a two bedroom home we want a three bedroom home. You fill in the blanks for you. If I have a ______, I want _______.
For me it is also more than just material things. It also shows up on the other side of the spectrum. If I give someone $5.00 to help them, why not $10.00. If I pray for 10 minutes, why not 20 minutes. If I bake cinnamon rolls for a neighbor why not the whole neighborhood (ok, so I don't bake cinnamon rolls for the neighbors but I hand them out for Kathy.)
At this point I am really hoping that you can relate to this malady and I am not out on this limb all by myself. My point is, at least for me, is that it is hard to know what is enough. One of the keys to happiness is contentment. However, we can't be content until we realize that we have all we need. I recently read something that made a lot of sense to me. "Happiness is wanting what we have."
One cure for wanting more of something is to over do it. I remember one time my brother and I were home alone and ate a whole giant bag of Frito Lay Corn Chips. Up to that point I loved those things. However after getting sick from them I still liked them but never ate too many again. To be clear, I am not recommending this method.
So how do we deal with this inclination to always want more? I don't have any pat answers just a few thoughts. The first being that awareness is half the battle. Just remembering that this is something we need to continually be aware of and resist is a good start. Another thought is something I have mentioned before. Taking stock of all the things we do have to be thankful for is a very powerful weapon. I think letting go of the expectations of others and ourselves is also very helpful. After all, the Christmas message is that I am loved and accepted by God for who I am not what I have or how much I can do. I think letting that message go deep down into my heart is the best way to insulate myself from the desire to have more or be more or do more. In my opinion, if we have Jesus, we have enough already. Just a thought.
Next week being Christmas Eve I am taking a little break. Don't worry. I will repost my favorite blog from 10 years ago along with a few fresh thoughts. Next week: "The Wrestler"
The regular driver had gotten permission from the parents and would give this student a piece of candy as a reward for good behavior. Obviously I did not know this and so was not prepared to follow the routine. The aid reminded the student that he was not supposed to ask for the candy but wait for the driver to give it to him. None of this deterred our student. Finally something else happened that took his focus off the candy. I thought we had gotten past our candy issue but I we had not.
This plan worked and the student began to get off the bus. But when our little rider got to the bottom of the steps, he turned around and said one word. "Two." By then it was too late and mom stepped up and got him to get off the bus. I think it was somewhat funny but as I got to thinking about it later, it occurred to me that my little friend was only doing what I and most others are also guilty of. We want more.
If we have a job with a good wage we want a job that pays more. If we have a nice car, we want a newer one. If we have a two bedroom home we want a three bedroom home. You fill in the blanks for you. If I have a ______, I want _______.
For me it is also more than just material things. It also shows up on the other side of the spectrum. If I give someone $5.00 to help them, why not $10.00. If I pray for 10 minutes, why not 20 minutes. If I bake cinnamon rolls for a neighbor why not the whole neighborhood (ok, so I don't bake cinnamon rolls for the neighbors but I hand them out for Kathy.)
At this point I am really hoping that you can relate to this malady and I am not out on this limb all by myself. My point is, at least for me, is that it is hard to know what is enough. One of the keys to happiness is contentment. However, we can't be content until we realize that we have all we need. I recently read something that made a lot of sense to me. "Happiness is wanting what we have."
One cure for wanting more of something is to over do it. I remember one time my brother and I were home alone and ate a whole giant bag of Frito Lay Corn Chips. Up to that point I loved those things. However after getting sick from them I still liked them but never ate too many again. To be clear, I am not recommending this method.
So how do we deal with this inclination to always want more? I don't have any pat answers just a few thoughts. The first being that awareness is half the battle. Just remembering that this is something we need to continually be aware of and resist is a good start. Another thought is something I have mentioned before. Taking stock of all the things we do have to be thankful for is a very powerful weapon. I think letting go of the expectations of others and ourselves is also very helpful. After all, the Christmas message is that I am loved and accepted by God for who I am not what I have or how much I can do. I think letting that message go deep down into my heart is the best way to insulate myself from the desire to have more or be more or do more. In my opinion, if we have Jesus, we have enough already. Just a thought.
Next week being Christmas Eve I am taking a little break. Don't worry. I will repost my favorite blog from 10 years ago along with a few fresh thoughts. Next week: "The Wrestler"
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